Thursday, December 15, 2011

And now, a short break.

Hello, everyone!

First of all, I want to thank you all for reading. This will be my 250th post on my blog, and, at the time of writing this, the site is at nearly 150,000 views, which, at least to me, is pretty impressive.

Secondly, and the real reason I'm making this post, is to announce that I'm going on a hiatus from story writing. I'm not sure how long it will be, though probably not too terribly long. I might do some more short stories before officially making me return, and I'll probably make some more captions in that time, too, but I don't plan on starting any other big projects for a little while.

I starting writing diaper stories a little under a year ago (December 29th of last year is when I posted the first chapter of The Babysitting Crew), and have mostly been working on one story or another for the whole time since then. I've written 537 pages, or 270,464 words, in that time. And I've enjoyed it, and appreciate your support, and just the fact that you've read at least some of them. But I have some non-diaper related writing work I'd like to try to get done that I've been putting off for a while now, and work in general, since I finally have a job again after being unemployed for most of this past year.

Anyway, I hope to see you all soon, and thanks again for reading!

The Crybaby's Christmas

Sierra was an adult... Technically. She'd turned 19 less than two weeks before, a time that had always been less than convenient. After waiting all year for presents, other than a new dress at Easter, or chocolate at Valentine's, or things like that, the two big gift-getting times of a person's life were smashed together, making a lot of people think they could treat them as the same thing.

So it was little wonder that, over the rest of the year, when she wanted something, she tended to get a little upset when she was told she couldn't have it. After all, it was a long wait for any real opportunity to ask anyone for it, and while Santa might pull through, she had less confidence in her family. And she couldn't ask Santa for everything, as she'd learned even he had limits.

But there was one thing that did work for her - crying. It did a good job of getting her the new toy she wanted, and then of convincing her teachers to bump her grade up a little, to get the principal to lessen her detention sentence, or even forgo it altogether, to keep herself from getting a speeding ticket, to soften up particularly rude customers at work. It got less effective as she got older, but since she stayed fairly small and youthful looking, it never completely lost its power.

She also had the tendency to cry at movies, at TV shows, even commercials sometimes. For a while, she was sure her friends were avoiding inviting her to the movies with them, because they were embarrassed that she seemed to bawl every time, but after confronting them about it with a fresh batch of tears, they started taking her with them again. She didn't know if her overly emotional reactions to media were a side-effect of being used to crying at stressful situations, or vice versa.

She wasn't sure if her crying had kept her acting more immature in general, either, or if she just was naturally immature somehow, and the crying was part of it. Her friends had always treated her like the youngest of them, even if she wasn't chronologically. She was still obsessed with children's shows, and books, and movies - even when she did get invited to go with her friends to the movies, she usually found herself bored and squirming beside them, until they glared at her in annoyance, wishing she could be watching the latest on the next screen instead. Sometimes, if she really wanted that, she'd make a fuss when they were choosing what to go see, breaking out her tears, but then she felt bad when it was everyone besides her who spent most of the movie disinterested, though they'd always tell her they enjoyed it so as not to upset her again.

She supposed it wasn't really a big surprise, then, that her group of friends had shrunk over the years. Sometimes they just faded away, hanging out less and less, at least when they knew Sierra would be there, and sometimes they confronted her about it, telling her that if they wanted to spend their time babysitting, they'd do it somewhere they got paid. That set her off, too, and every time her remaining friends assured her they didn't think of her that way, their words seemed a little less sincere.

There was no time that her childishness was more evident than the Christmas season. There was nothing she loved more than to drive through the local Christmas light display, even once it had been up for a couple weeks, and half the bulbs were burnt out. Even though it got busier and more stressful, she found herself looking forward to going to work because the mall she worked in was all decorated, and she got to walk right past Santa to get to her store. She knew it wasn't the real Santa, of course - she wasn't stupid - but she usually visited him a couple times a season to give him her wish to pass on to the real thing, or to revise it when she thought of something better.

That there was a real Santa for the fake ones to report to, she had no doubt. She'd grown up, seeing her friends reject him one by one, but she'd just never been convinced. After all, there'd always been one present under the tree, usually the biggest, that her mom and dad claimed not to know where it came from. Maybe that denial got a little more strained each year, but she told herself it was because they felt bad they hadn't gotten it for her, rather than leaving it to the big man.

This year, she needed a new computer. Her old one worked, but it was getting very slow, and no amount of tweaking made any difference. It was just old. She'd started out asking for specific models, but as the month of December wore on, she decided, instead, to just let Santa know the specs she was looking for, and he could find the right one himself, since she couldn't quite decide. She visited Santa's lap more times that year than she ever had in the past, and she could tell he got a little nervous every time she walked past him on her way to work.

But now, that was all over. She had to hope she'd told him everything he needed to know, and that all the latest messages had gotten through, because it was Christmas Eve, and she was tucked away snugly in her pink, fleece pajamas. She'd gone to bed early, of course, knowing Santa couldn't come until she was asleep, but being in bed and going to sleep were two different things, and she was finding the latter quite difficult. She was excited about Christmas, just like she was every year, but for some reason this year she was even more so. She managed to drift off for a few minutes here and there, her eyes immediately darting to her clock every time they opened, seeing if it was early enough to get her parents out of bed so she could go open her presents.

Finally, she decided a cup of water would help her relax, and if she happened to pass by the tree to see if Santa had been by already, well, that couldn't hurt. There were, indeed, piles of presents beneath the tree that hadn't been there when she'd gone to bed, but none of them looked like they could be her computer. None of them had the same, magical feel that her presents from Santa always had. So she hurried to the kitchen to get her water so she could get to sleep quicker, and Santa could show up. She filled a plastic cup with water, then, sipping at it, began to make her way back through the house, stopping for one last look at the tree.

And there, standing right in the middle of her living room, huge black sack at his feet, was Santa. Sierra gasped, cup falling from her fingers as her eyes widened in shock. She wondered at first if she should stay back, if he'd get mad if he saw her up and about this late on Christmas Eve, but that didn't last long. This was the opportunity of a lifetime!

She dashed across the room, giving the huge, bearded man a big hug, one that he returned a moment later. He smelled like fresh air, and snow, and soot, and everything Sierra had ever imagined. "You're here!" she exclaimed finally, as he let her go. She looked around at the presents, eagerly looking for the new additions she was sure would be there, but the only ones she could find were for her mom and dad. "Did I interrupt?" she blushed. "I can go back to bed! I was just getting some water, I wasn't sneaking around..."

"It's all right, Sierra," he told her, voice deep and hearty, though not quite as jolly as she would have expected. "I wanted you to find me, so I could give you your gift in person."

"Okay," Sierra giggled, feeling giddy with anticipation. Had he been unable to decide between computers, either? Maybe he was going to give her a choice. She could hardly wait to find out, fidgeting as she watched him dig through his bag for a moment, pulling out... a piece of coal.

"What is that?" she asked, a pout growing on her face. Was this a joke?

He didn't answer until he'd walked to her stocking and dropped the coal inside, then returned to his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "Merry Christmas," he told her.

"Wait, no!" she insisted. "What about my present?!"

"I just gave it to you," Santa explained.

"No!" She shook her head, feeling tears come to her eyes. "No, where's my computer! I need a new computer! I told you!"

"Things like computers are only for people on my nice list," Santa told her, as if she didn't know. "But you're on my naughty list, Sierra. You've been on my naughty list for a while now, but I like to give people a chance to change. It looks like you aren't going to, though, so I'm afraid it's coal for you, little one."

"That's not fair!" she wailed, stomping her foot. "I am a good girl!"

"No, you are not," Santa said sternly. "Part of being a good girl is growing up, and you still act like a baby, Sierra. Throwing tantrums, crying... You have to keep your inner child alive, but you're still a child through and through."

"That's not true!" she protested, stomping her foot again, before she could realize that was exactly what he was complaining about. She tried to stop her tears, but she felt like... Well, like Santa had just told her she wasn't getting any presents this year. "I'll be good next year!" she promised. "I won't cry or anything! Just give me one more chance!"

"I've already given you your present," he informed her. "Do with it what you will."

Sierra unhappily stomped over to her stocking, pulling out the piece of coal. She looked at it for a moment, then threw it across the room. "I don't want it!" she told him angrily, turning to face him, red-faced, before she could see the piece of coal crack open and a figure emerge from inside. "I want my computer!"

Santa turned around, shaking his head. "Maybe next year," he said, and then he was gone, in a whirlwind of snow and magic, stockings swaying as he whooshed past them on the way through the fireplace and out the chimney.

Sierra started to cry again, frustrated at the injustice of it all. She started to stomp her way back to her room, so she could sulk in bed for the rest of the night, when a hand clamped down on her shoulder. She spun around to find a woman behind her, a little taller than her, yet dressed like an elf, in green and white stripes. "Who are you?" she demanded. "Where did you come from?!"

"I came from your coal, naughty girl," the elf told her. "I'm here to give you the rest of your 'present'. Santa is a busy man these days."

"Present?" Sierra's eyes lit up at the word, at least until she noticed what the elf was holding in one hand. Like her outfit, it was striped, but in red and white, making it look a little like a candy cane. A large, paddle-shaped, candy cane. She quickly turned to run, but the elf grabbed her wrist, in one smooth motion yanking her back and over her lap as she sat down, and, seemingly at the same time, brought the paddle crashing hard against Sierra's bottom with a loud whap.

The tears still drying on her cheeks from her confrontation with Santa were joined by new ones as she let out a cry of pain, feeling the sting of the paddle spread out over her backside. The elf gave her time to really feel it, to make her realize what it was, what had just happened, what position she was in, and to make her wonder if that was all it would be before striking again. Sierra's petite rear was no match for the paddle, which covered nearly the whole thing with each strike, which came, after that first one, faster and faster, giving her no relief, no escape no matter how hard she squirmed and begged and pleaded for mercy, her tears only seeming to make the elf spank her harder.

The paddle slapped down against her, over and over, the sound of it echoing in her ears even over the sound of her own cries. Whap! Whap! Whap! Beneath it, her bottom felt like it was on fire, like it was swollen, bright red all over. She kicked her legs helplessly, and, right before the paddle made its last trip down, she felt her bladder release a burst of urine into her panties. It wasn't an entirely uncommon occurrence - she had little accidents like that once a week or so, maybe, but it was still enough that it would have made her blush at any other time.

She relaxed across the elf's lap as she felt the paddle being lifted, then set down on the floor, glad it was finally over. She tried to catch her breath, tears still pouring down her face. And then she felt fingers beneath the waist of her pajama pants, felt the soft fleece being pulled down and off her sore, red bottom, the cold air hitting her bare skin as the pants were slid over her backside, then down her legs, falling in a puddle of pink on the floor.

Then, to make matters even worse, she felt a hand press between her legs, fingertips sliding across the damp crotch of her panties. "You naughty little thing!" the elf chastised her. "Wetting yourself! I was going to let you keep your panties for the last part of your spanking, but a naughty little girl like you gets spanked on her bare bottom, doesn't she?"

Sierra's eyes went wide as she heard the words, finding new strength to squirm, though it did her no good, as she was pinned to the elf's lap. "No!" she sniffled. "No more, please!"

"Do you think crying is going to help, little crybaby?" the elf asked her, voice mocking. "That's why you're in this position. You're just a little crybaby. Well, if you're going to cry, I guess I'll just give you a reason to!"

And with that, the spanking resumed. Sierra barely had time to register the feeling of her panties being pulled down before she heard the slapping sound of flesh on flesh. She bawled loudly as the elf's hand clapped against her already spanked rear end, moving down to her thighs every now and then to make her thrash all the more at the surprise of it. By the time the spanking was over, Sierra was too exhausted to squeal and squirm anymore, almost too much to even cry, the thing she was so good at.

"There we go," the elf said, running her hand over Sierra's poor, abused bottom. "That ought to do it."

"I-I just wanted my present," Sierra sniffed.

"Oh, but you are getting a present," the elf assured her. "Not a Christmas present, of course - you've been a bad girl, so you only get coal and a spanking for that - but you're getting a late birthday present."

"Really?" Sierra perked up. She doubted it would be worth what she'd just been through, but at least that would have all been for something, as long as she got her present. She wondered what kind of computer Santa had gotten her, and where he'd hidden it.

"You're getting one of the very rarest of presents," the elf said, pulling Sierra's panties back up her legs, snapping them into place around her waist. Right away, Sierra could tell something was different, though at first she attributed that to the spanking.

Then the elf lifted her, setting her down on the floor, right over where her pajama pants had fallen. She looked down and saw a trio of Disney princesses staring up at her, surrounding a heart that should have had a design in it, but instead had only a purple smudge. She gasped, realizing she was staring down at a pair of wet Pull-Ups, rather than her wet panties.

"Your mommy and daddy aren't going to be happy you had another accident," the elf informed her, as she bent down and pulled the pajama pants up Sierra's legs. As soon as they were in place, over her used training pants, and the elf's hands had moved away, Sierra could see the pants and shirt of her pajamas growing together, forming into a unified whole. Her eyes went wide, and she tried to pull the shirt up and away, but it was too late. The buttons melted away, taking the opening they held shut with them, though she could feel a change in the back as well that made her suspect a zipper was growing there. She squirmed as she felt something growing around her feet, encasing them. Before she knew it, she was standing in the middle of her living room, in front of the Christmas tree, wearing a footed sleeper and Pull-Ups, stunned.

"What.... What...?" she mumbled, unable to even complete the question, not sure what she could ask that would cover everything she was wondering.

"It's your birthday present," the elf reminded her. "You're getting another chance." The elf took her hand, patting it. Sierra nearly fell over as a wave of memories washed over her. There she was, decorating the tree happily, then stopping to dash away to the bathroom, not making it two steps before a wet spot began to grow on her pants. She was baking cookies, licking the spoons and not paying a bit of attention as she had another accident. And there she was playing in the snow with her friends, sledding down a nice, steep hill, realizing halfway both that she had to use the potty, and that it was too late to do anything about it other than blush furiously as she scrambled up off of the sled, a large, stinky mess in the back of her pants, hoping nobody would notice as she excused herself to run back home.

The worst part about the memories wasn't that they were fake, perversions of her real memories, but that they had all, at least supposedly, happened that year. Fainter, she could recall false memories of insisting she didn't need to wear Pull-Ups to bed, that she wouldn't have an accident that night, and of waking up almost every morning to wet training pants.

"You're supposed to be a big girl," her mother's voice echoed through falsified time, "but if you can't stop having accidents, I'm afraid we're going to have to re-pottytrain you."

"But that didn't happen!" Sierra protested. "I don't need to be potty trained!"

"Oh, but you will," the elf said. "This," she patted Sierra's crotch through the sleeper, "will be the last straw. Your mommy and daddy are going to hire you a nanny, because clearly they can't trust you on your own, and they don't have time to potty train you themselves. That nanny is going to tell them the best way to do it will be to take you back down to a fully diaper-dependent little baby, then, slowly, raise you into the adult you never quite managed to become the first time around. And do you know how I know that, sweetie? Because I'm going to be your nanny! It's my off-season now, so I have plenty of time to devote to you. And you're going to listen to me, aren't you? Because if you don't..." Sierra was eagerly nodding already, but just in case, the elf gave her a smack on her throbbing bottom, which was shielded only slightly by her Pull-Up and sleeper.

"But..." Sierra pouted, sniffling, ready to cry again, as usual.

"We'll get to all that in a couple days," the elf promised her. "For now, I have some more work to help Santa with, so you be a good girl for me until I come back for you."

With that, the elf vanished up the chimney, much as Santa had, leaving a confused, sore, and very worried little girl behind. The idea of being put back in diapers was almost unthinkable, even more absurd than the fact that she was in a Pull-Up right that minute, and she didn't want to find out how the elf was planning on re-raising her.

It was a good thing she wouldn't have to find out, she thought to herself. If her parents didn't know she wet herself, that wouldn't be the last straw, and they'd never hire a nanny. She'd just change, then be extra careful from then on. After all, it wasn't like she usually wet the bed anyway! How hard could it be? She reached behind herself, fumbling for the zipper, determined to avoid her fate.

Then she felt a kiss on the top of her head. "What are you doing up so early, sweetie?" her mother asked. "You can't open your presents yet."

"I know!" Sierra said, heart starting to pound. "I was just going back to bed."

"All right," her mother smiled at her. "Merry Christmas, Sierra," she said, giving the girl a hug. Sierra started to calm herself down, telling herself it wasn't over yet, that she could still pull off her plan... Until she felt her mother's hand pat her bottom, a quick check that would have been embarrassing even if she'd been dry, but was mortifying since she wasn't. "Sierra, do you have something to tell me?"

Even though she knew it was what had gotten her into this mess in the first place, Sierra couldn't think of anything to do but cry.

The End

The Scaredy-Cat's Halloween

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Laura & Holly - Chapter 26 & Epilogue

Chapter 26

It wasn't until we'd been sitting in the car, the nanny quietly waiting for me to stop bawling, that it dawned on me that my boss had called me Laura. My despair at what I'd just been through slowly burned its way to anger as I waited for my tears to subside enough that I could demand, "Y-You heard him, right? I told you, I'm Laura! I'm not H-Holly! Do you believe me now, you b-bitch?!"

"You've had a hard day," she said calmly, "so I'll let that slide for now, but don't push your luck, young lady."

"Didn't you hear me?!" I pouted, smacking my hand against the seat beside me. "I-I'm not Holly! You have no right to treat me like this! Y-You never did!"

She turned around, looking at my red, tear streaked face, then turned on the car and started to pull out of the parking lot. "Don't ignore me!" I wailed, kicking the back of the seat in front of me in frustration, starting to cry again helplessly as I felt myself fill my diaper, further emphasizing how far I'd fallen.

I just assumed we were going back to Holly's house, that somehow she had convinced herself that my encounter with my boss had been an act I'd somehow set up in between finger painting and diaper changes at nursery school, but when the car stopped again and she opened the door for me, I realized I was quite wrong. I'd been prepared to refuse to get out, not caring if it earned me another spanking or not at that point, but instead all I could do was stare, dumbfounded, at the sight in front of me.

It was my apartment building. Mine.

"I'm not an idiot, young lady," she informed me, holding out her hand. Still shocked, I took it and hopped down out of the car, toddling beside her in my droopy diaper. It felt like my two worlds were colliding, just like at the mall, but even more personal - and the difference even more pronounced, now that I'd just gotten a spanking, pooped my pants, and been crying for what seemed like the last half hour at least. Even without my catheter, I think I would have wet myself.

"B-But..." I stammered. "But you..."

Quietly, she led me up to my apartment, fishing in her pocket for the key and unlocking the door, pushing it open to reveal Holly, sitting on my couch surrounded by textbooks. Her hair was held back by an Alice band, and she was wearing a plaid skirt and white dress shirt, looking every inch a schoolgirl, not the monster who had manipulated me into diapers. She looked up worriedly as she heard the door open, biting her bottom lip.

"You're early!" she whined. "That's the only reason I'm not done with my homework yet! You can't get mad at me for..." Her eyes drifted over to me and her cheeks flushed for a moment before she gave me a small, "Hey, twin." I wanted to be mad at her, to do something, but in the moment, still confused and disoriented, all I could think to do was suck my thumb.

"Are you dry?" the nanny asked, and for a second, I thought she was being especially cruel, since she knew I was pretty much never entirely dry any more.

Then Holly spoke up. "Of course," she said with another blush. The nanny gave her a look, and she got up from the couch and walked over to us, lifting her skirt, being sure to avoid my eyes as her Pull-Up was revealed, designs all perfectly intact.

"Good girl," the nanny praised her. "Since it's Friday, you can leave your homework until tomorrow morning. But you have to get it done then, because I have to grade it before your parents get home on Sunday."

"Yes, ma'am," Holly nodded obediently. "I'm doing good on it so far."

"I hope so," our nanny said. "You see what will happen if you don't." They both looked over at me. I blushed, realizing I was being used as a cautionary tale. "But you've done a very good job this week, so I don't think that will happen, do you?" Holly shook her head quickly. "Now, you have something you need to do, don't you?"

Holly swallowed, then nodded again and turned to me. "Laura," she squeaked, looking far more scared than anyone should be of anyone dressed like I was, "I'm sorry. I was scared, and I didn't know what to do, but I shouldn't have dragged you into this, or lied to you, or... anything. I'm really sorry. Nanny made sure of that."

"You can go get ready for bed now," nanny instructed her, and Holly scampered off.

It took me another minute or two, but finally I managed to ask, "You knew all along?"

"Not right away," the nanny conceded, "but most of the time."

"Then why didn't you let me go?! Why did you keep calling me Holly?!" I stomped my foot. "You knew you..."

"Watch it," she warned me, and automatically I made myself calm down. "I called you Holly because I couldn't let you know that I knew. And I didn't let you go because you're mine." I felt a little chill run down my spine as she said it. There was no menace in her voice, but no doubt, either. "I discipline many young adults," she explained, "and I'm very good at it. Because I'm so good, I only get a week or two with them, and I'm devoted enough to my work that I won't draw it out beyond what they need just for my own sake. But I miss it when I'm done. So I needed someone of my own, someone I could keep for as long as I want."

"But... You can't keep me!" I informed her, horrified. "I'm an adult!"

"Are you? Your diaper is messy, sweetie, and you haven't so much as asked for a change. You suck your thumb almost all the time. You have no job, and even if you did, would you want to be seen there after the show you put on earlier? You were an adult, dear, but Holly's silly little trick gave me the perfect opportunity to change that, and to give myself exactly what I wanted."

"But what about what I want?" I whined.

"Oh, I think you're getting that, too." She smiled at my surprised expression. "In under a week, I transformed you from a businesswoman to a toddler, and you may have complained, but it was more like a little girl whining than an adult making a real effort to change anything. Not once did you make a serious effort to stop me, now did you? I'm sure you told yourself you had no choice, that nothing would have worked, but if you'd shown me any sign that you were really making an effort, I'd have let you go. But you never rose to the challenge. What kind of an adult lets herself get bullied by a bunch of teenagers who aren't even old enough to drive yet? What grown-up can fit into a nursery school as quickly and easily as you? I'll tell you, sweetie - the kind that wants to be a baby, but won't admit it to herself. If I were to let you go, you'd dream of this every night. You'd remember how I made you into a baby, and you'd do all kinds of naughty things to yourself as you did, and then you'd probably wet your bed."

My cheeks burned hotly. I wanted to deny it, but even as I tried, my words got lost behind my thumb, a habit I'd never been made to take up, that she hadn't so much as mentioned to me before I started. I fidgeted in my poopy diaper, feeling the disgusting mass between my legs. But just because I thought it felt gross didn't mean it wasn't kind of exciting at the same time, in a perverse way. Was I just thinking that way because she'd put the idea in my head? I wanted to think so, yet I wasn't sure at all.

"You're coming home with me when I leave Sunday," she told me. "Since I won't have a client to spend my time with during the day, I won't have to find you a daycare, not until we go on my next job. You'll get to spend all day at home as my sweet little baby, and I'll look after you, and change you, and punish you when you need it, or want it. That is what's going to happen. I could give you a choice, but I can tell it's what you want. Just like I can tell that you want me not to let you choose. You want me to just do it, so you can tell yourself you had no choice. And since that's what you want, that's what you'll get, sweetie."

"B-But..." I wasn't sure what to say, or even what I was planning to respond to. I was so confused, I wasn't sure what I was really thinking, or what she'd told me I was thinking, or whether the two were the same thing.

"And one more thing," she said before I could try to sort it all out. "I don't think you should go by Lauren anymore. It's a grown-up name, and if you think of yourself by that name, you might think you really are a grown-up. I think we should call you something else."

"Like what?" I asked, but I knew the answer even before she said it, and that, much like with everything else, I didn't have a choice in the matter. I'd lost everything else - now I was even losing my name.

"Well, you're used to Holly by now, I'm sure, and it's a cute name. Why don't we just stick with that?"


Unable to wait any longer, I walked out from the bedroom, Pull-Up peeking from the waistband of my pink pajama pants. "Good girl," she praised me, looking up from the woman formerly known as Laura. "Now say goodnight to your little sister."

I walked over to her, fighting to hide my grin as I saw the baffled look on her face. It matched the confused tone I'd been hearing in her voice as I eavesdropped on her to a tee. "Goodnight!" I chirped, giving her a big hug, catching a whiff of her dirty diaper and going a little weak at the knees. I gave nanny a hug, too, then let her walk me back to the bedroom and tuck me in.

I listened intently to her footsteps as they retreated back through the apartment, waiting for the sound of the door closing and locking behind her. I gave it another minute or so beyond that, before I simply couldn't help it, and I plunged my hand inside my pajama pants, pressing the padding of my Pull-Up hard against my wet vagina. I hadn't dared to do it before she left - sometimes she checked me before I went to bed, sometimes she didn't - but it had been so very hard to keep my fingers away. I knew I'd be in trouble the next day, but that just made it more exciting.

Just as I'd told Laura, I shouldn't have dragged her into this, but I really had been scared. I'd been interested in diapers for as long as I could remember, and I longed for someone to force me into them, to treat me like a naughty little girl. But, even after finding the perfect candidate for doing so, and being handed the perfect opportunity to take advantage of her services, after forging all the paperwork she required, I got cold feet. What if I wasn't ready for the real thing? What if she was rougher than I expected? What if, on Sunday, when I told her my parents flight had been delayed until Monday, when it was actually scheduled for, she refused to leave me alone because I'd been acting especially naughty so I could get the full benefit of her "training"? What if she realized I was scamming her, that I actually liked this? By then, it was too late to back out, so I began to hatch another plan.

And it had gone off perfectly. Even better than I thought. Yes, I got caught, and spanked, and demoted to Pull-Ups, but those last two were as amazing as I'd expected. And, more than that, I knew that, back at my old house, Laura was getting an even worse punishment. I'd seen her get her own spanking, after walking by, naked, carrying an armload of wet sheets, and it was even hotter than anything I'd imagined happening to myself. Every bit of information I got out of the nanny about what was going on with Laura, everything I'd imagined for myself, just turned me on all the more. I was so satisfied just hearing of her exploits, I didn't bother to try to get put back into diapers myself, settling with Pull-Ups.

I begged and begged the nanny to bring her to me, wanting to see her, to make sure this wasn't a trick of some kind, pretending I wanted to apologize. And, finally, she had, and it had been everything I'd dreamed. She looked so small, so meek. I could tell right away that she was messy, and I could barely speak, wondering if she was also wetting herself in front of me, unable to stop it, just like she seemed unable to keep herself from sucking her thumb.

That would have been enough, but then, as I was getting changed, I could hear the nanny talking, laying out Laura's new life as the girl just stood by, hardly able to speak. I couldn't tell if she was actually secretly into diapers, as the nanny had accused her, or if she'd just become so weak-willed that she just accepted everything she was told, even about herself, at face value. And then, the finishing touch, the one that had left me so hot and bothered that I had to get them away as soon as possible, or risk getting caught in the act of masturbating, had come when the nanny had taken her name away, deciding to name her after me.

Now, if I wanted, when I kept in touch with the nanny, as I planned to do, as I listened to her stories of the mischief "Laura" got up to, as I looked at the pictures of her I hoped to get sent, I could imagine it was me, if I liked. Or, more likely, I could think about how, now, Laura was given a reminder of the person who'd done this to her every time someone spoke to her. She might not realize it, but I'd know.

I gasped, waves of pleasure washing over me, leaving me breathless for a moment, toes curled, eyes rolled back in my head as I shivered in ecstasy. Finally, I sank back down into bed, a pleasant exhaustion taking over. It was really too bad there was no chance of pulling this same trick again, not with this nanny.

But there had been other candidates. And I could think of some other people I knew who I wouldn't mind seeing diapered. My parents had another trip scheduled for the end of the year. As I yawned, stretched, and snuggled up beneath my blankets, I began to wonder if I could set something like this up again by then. And who, I wondered, would be my next victim? I drifted off to sleep, a smile on my lips as I dreamed of potential candidates, seeing them all as Laura, in the last position I'd seen her in - confused, trapped, thumb in her mouth and a load in her pants as she toddled off to fulfill my fantasy.

The End

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Laura & Holly - Chapter 25

I felt my body dribbling wetness into my thick diaper, as it sat tucked beneath a red jumper and a pair of white tights decorated with cartoon hearts, felt my mouth sucking harder on my thumb, both reminding me of how far I'd fallen since the last time I'd set foot in this place. I'd been the one in charge back then, the boss; now, I was just another visitor, and not even a consumer. I wasn't allowed to carry a purse, or money of any kind, so I couldn't even buy anything if I wanted to.

The thought of my purse sent a bolt through me, a mixture of hope and fear. On one hand, there was every possibility that I'd run into people I knew here, seeing as I'd been working to get ready for this day for months. They could tell my nanny who I was and get me out of here, but that would, of course, require them to see me like this, something I did not particularly want. I'd survived this long. Maybe it would be better to wait for Holly's parents - it couldn't be more than another couple days. And it was the weekend, so I shouldn't have to worry about nursery school, either. I was a little disgusted with myself, that I'd choose another few days of this over my freedom, but it just seemed like the better choice.

"C-Can we go home?" I asked quietly, popping my thumb out for a moment. It came out a little stilted, as I'd learned it was best to just do what I was told without question, but I got it out.

"This is your reward for being a good girl," the nanny informed me. "I know you might feel a little nervous, dear, but they're only going to have one grand opening, and I'm sure it would be a pity to miss it. Besides, nobody will even notice you, except to see what a cute little girl you are."

Tempting fate a little more, I whined, "But I don't wanna!" It didn't seem like she was going to listen to my request, but maybe the right amount of brattiness would make her decide I didn't deserve a reward. I just had to make sure I didn't go overboard and earn myself a spanking as well.

"Holly, you don't have to be scared," she told me. "Once you're inside, I'm sure you'll have a great time. And I have another surprise for you inside."

"What?" I asked nervously. I couldn't think of any surprise she could give me in the mall that I'd want.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?" With that, she got out of the car, walked around to my door, and opened it. I knew I would regret it, but I didn't get out. I crossed my arms and pouted at her. "Holly," she said, her voice turning sterner, "you are going inside, young lady. You can do it with a sore bottom if you want, but you'll still be going."

Feeling completely helpless - not that it was anything new for me - I got out of the care sulkily, putting my thumb back in my mouth and taking her hand. I felt especially small as she marched me to the entrance. My diaper felt especially thick, making my waddle all the more pronounced. The skirt of my jumper felt especially short, ready to reveal the diaper beneath my tights with one wrong move. The barette holding the hair out of my eyes, with its little bunny head, felt all the more childish, as did the rest of my outfit. My light purple Mary-Janes, decorated with a pink ribbon and bow across the toes, felt especially flat and childish.

It had been only a few days since the last time I'd come into this place, in my high heels, my sleek business suit, a pair of lacy, barely-there underwear beneath it, trying to be nice for a friend of mine who was feeling down. Now, because of her, that familiar click-clacking of my shoes on the tile floor would be replaced by a squeak from the barely-there heel of the Mary-Janes, a sound designed to delight the toddlers they were really meant for, and the crinkle of my diaper. The difference was staggering. It was hard to believe that woman was me - it seemed more like a dream, a far away, half-forgotten dream.

I was still pondering this, sucking on my thumb and not paying attention, when I felt my nanny stop. I glanced up curiously, then my eyes grew wide as I saw who was standing in front of us. "Look who it is!" my nanny exclaimed. "Ms. Shelly explained to them how you were in the wrong school, and how you didn't realize how much trouble you could have gotten them in with your little fibs, and they're willing to accept your apology and check out the mall with you!"

I stared up at the nanny in shock, then back at the girls, only then thinking to remove my thumb. Molly and her friends looked like they were about to burst out laughing as they stared down at me, smiling smugly. I looked back over at the nanny, hoping this was some strange joke, but she just nodded toward them.

I didn't want to apologize - I had nothing to apologize for - but it was what was expected of me, and I knew it was best to do that, quietly and without question or hesitation.  So, even though I knew the severity of my current predicament was their fault, that I wouldn't have wound up back in nursery school, and thus in diapers full time, without them, I forced myself to mumble, "I'm sorry I got you in trouble."

"Come on, Holly, you can do better than that," my nanny chastised me. "You could have gotten these poor girls suspended!"

"I'm very sorry," I said automatically, having to grit my teeth only a little to get through it. "I wasn't thinking, and I didn't mean to get you in trouble like that. Please forgive me."

"Oh, of course we will, sweetie!" Molly gushed, giving me a big hug. "Now, are you ready to have some fun with your big sisters?"

I wasn't sure what to say, but it didn't matter anyway, as the nanny transferred my hand to Molly's before I could answer. "If you need me, just call my cell phone. Lacey, your sister gave the number to you, didn't she?" Lacey nodded. "I'm sure you girls don't want to have to deal with her diapers, so I'll keep her diaper bag and change her when she needs it. But she just got a fresh diaper when she left nursery school, so she should be good for a while." Even though I knew they were all aware of what I was wearing, the repeated use of the word still mortified me, though not as much as the nanny patting them as she finished, to emphasize it. "Have fun, Holly!"

They waited until she was gone, then, right in the entrance of the mall, Molly positioning me in front of her and, letting go of my hand, reached in, pushing up the skirt of my jumper and pulling down my tights, revealing my diaper to anyone who walked by, though mostly to her friends, as she pressed her hand against the crotch. "Oh, my God, she's wet already!" she squealed, giving the padding a slight squeeze.

"Well, Shelly says she's incontinent now," Lacey spoke up, "so I guess that makes sense."

"You weren't incontinent when you were at school, though, were you?" Molly asked. "Just close."

"No, they had to use some special equipment on her," Lacey filled in for me before I could open my mouth, though if I'd done that, I was more likely to put my thumb in it than say anything, as I was feeling quite scared at that moment. "Now she doesn't have any more control than a baby."

"Is that any different than before?" Molly teased, grinning as I blushed. "Oh, don't worry Holly, I know it is. And don't worry, this diaper suits you." She let the tights snap back into place over it before giving the front one more pat. "You know, I bet you'd look pretty cute just walking around in your shirt and tights without your jumper. Don't you?"

She wasn't asking me, of course, and of course the other girls were eager to agree, even as I shook my head desperately.  I felt my mouth start sucking even before I realized my thumb was back inside, and by then they'd seen, so it was too late to try to hide it. Some of them oohed and ahhed, giggling derisively about how precious I looked.

"Come on, Holly," Molly urged, her hand tightening around the hem of my jumper, lifting it up higher. "We'll give you a nice make-over."

"Maybe we can lose the tights, too!" one of the other girls suggested.

The very idea of it, of toddling around this place I should be ruling, strutting through, proud of my work, in just a diaper and shirt made me want to throw up. I may have given up my fight for the sake of keeping my bottom un-spanked, but this was too much. I ripped the skirt away from Molly's hands, then, before I could talk myself out of it, I took off running.

I knew I'd have only a second or two head start by catching them by surprise, and that with my shorter legs and the diaper between them that wouldn't do me much good, but I had to do something. I wasn't sure what my plan was if I managed to get away, but perhaps I could hide in one of the stores, maybe even use one of their phones. I didn't know who I'd call, but I'd think of someone. I'd get some new clothes, real clothes, then find Holly and drag her to her own house, and watch with satisfaction as she got her butt severely spanked.

I nearly fell over as I ran into someone in my desperation to get away, managing to stay on my feet only when they grabbed me and steadied me. "Sorry," I blurted out, trying to push past them. But they didn't let go.

"Did you miss me that much?" my nanny asked. "I heard your little shoes and thought I'd see what you were up to, and..."

"Y-Yeah," I lied, cutting her off. "Can we just..?"

"There you are!" Molly exclaimed, showing up right on time to make things worse. "What are you thinking running away from us like that?!"

I saw my nanny's eyes narrow, and quickly worked to explain. "No, they were going to..."

"I thought you were ready for a little outing in public, but apparently I was wrong," she shook her head. And, despite everything, I felt relieved. Was she finally going to take me home? But when she started to drag me off, it wasn't back towards the door. "You do not run away from your babysitters, or me, or anyone in charge of you. You can have been hurt, or lost, or even kidnaped! That is very naughty, young lady!"

"Yeah, but..." I stammered, struggling to keep up with her, watching as I passed through my mall, the one I'd worked so hard on, heading right for the fountain at the center, with the ribbon spread out in front of it, waiting to be cut, a job that should have been mine, and, from there, one of the benches. My heart began to pound as I remembered my last trip, how I'd heard a story centering around that very bench. A story that, I realized unhappily as she sat down, pulling me over her lap, was about to repeat itself.

From across her lap, as I sniffled and begged her for mercy, I could see Molly and her friends slide into a table at the food court, the one closest to me, more than close enough to get a good view of the proceedings. By then, the nanny had yanked down the back of my tights, and pushed my diaper down over my bottom, leaving enough of it bare for her to begin her assault.

The sound of her hand slapping against my bottom would likely have drawn enough attention, and I had hoped to leave it at that, but I was sure she was spanking me much harder than usual, as, by the third one, I was wailing, kicking my feet and bawling out my eyes, making quite a spectacle of myself as I stared out across the tiled floor, at the pattern I'd fought so hard to keep unchanged, at my fountain - the ribbon there symbolizing the end of my job, the completion of my first big project, proof that I was an adult, a professional - tinkling gently beside me, between the sound of the spanks, and the pain each sent blossoming across my backside.

Just when I was sure it would never end, my tear-streaked eyes saw something new in front of me, a pair of shadows. "Excuse me, ma'am," one of them said, a voice that sent a fresh blush to my cheeks as I recognized it, and realized my other cheeks were fully visible to our head security officer. "I'm afraid you can't do that here."

"I'm afraid she's been a very naughty girl, and with children, you must punish them right away, or they won't realize what it's for," the nanny lectured.

Then, to my horror, the other shadow began to speak. I couldn't even hear his words, as just the voice was enough to make me stop breathing in my spot after one, overly loud, gasp. This was worse than one of the people I'd hired, who'd worked under me before I'd been turned into a baby. This was my boss, the man I'd had to fight tooth and nail to convince I deserved to be allowed a chance to be the head of this project. And I was lying in front of him, bottom freshly spanked and diapered.

I prayed he wouldn't notice me, that he'd concentrate on telling the nanny exactly why she couldn't spank me in a public place like this, but, given how few of my prayers had been answered lately, it was hardly a surprise when he knelt down in front of me, his gentle smile turning into a look of shock, and then anger. "Laura?" he asked. I turned my face downward for just a moment, then looked back up at him, knowing there was no use hiding. "Is this what you abandoned your project to do?"

"N-No, you don't understand," I stammered. "This isn't my fault! She kidnaped me, and..."

"It's bad enough you left with no notice, so that I had to fly all the way here and take over. But to do it to play some perverted little game, and to bring it here, in public? Are you trying to humiliate this company?"

"No, please," I begged, sniffling.

He stood. "If you'd like to continue her spanking," he said, "I can take you to my office. But after that, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. And Laura? You aren't welcome back."

Thankfully, my nanny decided against taking him up on his offer. But, even so, I cried the whole way to the car, past Molly and her friends, past my fountain and the ribbon in front of it, still uncut, out of the mall I'd put so much work into, for the last time.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Laura & Holly - Chapter 24

I was still squirming on my belly when I heard the rest of the class return from lunch, freezing at the sound, sure they were all staring at me, lying there by Ms. Shelly's desk. Even if they didn't know what I'd done, just the fact that I'd been put down for a nap before them was embarrassing, giving them yet another advantage over me. I wore diapers, I ate baby food (and not even on my own), I had to start my nap early... I'm sure they all thought I belonged in one of the younger classes. And, lying there in a full diaper, I couldn't blame them.

I listened to them bustling about for a little bit, going to the potty again and getting ready for their own nap, before the light was finally turned off. I didn't expect it to make that much of a difference in whether I was able to get to sleep or not, but the darkness was still somewhat comforting, as another way to disguise what I'd done in my pants.

I knew I didn't really need a nap, but, besides letting me forget my predicament for a little bit, it would also help me pass a little time, rather than just staring at the wall for however long naptime lasted. I wasn't used to sleeping on my stomach at all, however, which only made things more difficult, and whenever I started to roll over, the movement made my loaded diaper squish and squelch beneath me, bringing a blush to my cheeks and making me go back to my tummy quickly, spreading my legs out behind me.

I never quite got all the way to sleep, but I did manage to drift in and out some, eyes drooping closed for a few minutes at a time before opening again. After what felt like hours, I heard Ms. Shelly and Ms. Marian starting to wake the kids, Ms. Shelly ending with me, though instead of telling me it was time to get up, she pressed down on my back, pinning me to my mat while Ms. Marian switched on the lights.

"All right, class," Ms. Shelly said, getting up, leaving me lying at her feet, now too scared to stand up, with everyone staring in my direction, "Ms. Marian is going to take you out to play a little early today. Little Holly is still sleepy, so we're going to let her nap for just a little longer, okay?"

My heart began to thump at this - was she just giving us some privacy so she could change me? That seemed unlikely. There had to be something else up, and I didn't want to find out what it was, but what could I do? I listened as the kids piled up their mats and lined up. I tried once to get up and join them, though playing outside in a messy diaper was hardly my idea of a good time, but she pushed me down again, this time with her foot.

"Aww, I know you wanted to play with the other kids," she said, once they were all gone, "but we're going to have some fun on our own." She pushed the blanket aside and lifted me to my sock-clad feet, stripping me of my jumper again, leaving my drooping diaper on full display. "What a good girl you are," she cooed, reaching down and patting the diaper, "making a big, ol' poopy diaper just for me. Oh, don't pout. Come here."

She sat down on her chair, spreading her legs slightly, then reaching out and dragging me a little closer. "Come here," she repeated, patting her leg. I paled a bit, shaking my head, which earned me a threat of, "Do you want me to take you to the nursery? I bet you'd fit in quite well there. Better than here. Is that what you want?"

"No," I squeaked. She patted her leg again, letting me know that was my choice. I sighed and toddled over to her, gingerly lowering myself onto her leg, perching on the edge, wrinkling my nose. She grabbed me and turned me around so I was straddling her leg, forcing my bottom further down into the mess, making it squish between my legs and up the front, coating me in the filth quite thoroughly, or so it felt.

She began to bounce me, making it all the worse. "What a good little baby you are, Laura," she told me. "I bet you're wetting yourself more even now. I'd ask you, but you don't even know, do you? Just like a real little baby. I'm surprised you were able to keep from messing yourself for so long. But guess what, Laura? That's not going to happen again. You know those pills you've been taking, and will keep taking? Those are fiber supplements, sweetie, to make sure you have plenty in your tummy to fill your pants with, and that it's nice and soft so it's harder for you to hold in. You've been getting it in your drinks, too, so I'm sure it's already starting to work in there." She patted my stomach, pulling me a little closer to her, continuing to move her leg up and down beneath me as I squirmed and moaned.

I would have liked to be able to think that she was bluffing, making it up, that my life hadn't fallen under other peoples' control in yet another way, but I couldn't. I wasn't sure what else the pills could have been. And even knowing what they were, it hardly mattered. Ms. Shelly was right. I was going to keep taking them, if that's what she and the nanny decided was best for me. I didn't want to, but my wants weren't part of the picture anymore. I did what I was supposed to do, what I was told, because I wanted them to think I was a good girl so I wouldn't get punished. Whether I liked it or not didn't matter - my nanny knew what was best, so she called the shots. And she put me in Ms. Shelly's care, so what she said went as well. I was completely under their power.

As I mulled over that realization, I found my thumb making its way into my mouth, rooting itself there. Ms. Shelly seemed quite pleased with that, and while that alone should have made me stop, any time I removed it, I somehow discovered it back there whenever I got distracted. She slowed her bouncing, then stopped it, telling me again what a good little girl I was before setting me on the floor, taking my free hand, and walking me into the bathroom for a change, and to get me re-dressed. And for another round of pills. It was a little harder to make myself take them, knowing what they were, but all it took was a stern glance in my direction to get me moving.

The fight, what little of it had survived even that long, was gone. I sat and listened and participated in her class, letting her check me and change me when she saw fit, sucking my thumb more often than I'd care to admit. This was the role I'd been given, clearly, and there seemed to be no escaping it, so I embraced it instead.

When my nanny came to pick me up, she seemed a bit surprised to find me with my thumb still firmly, and wetly, stuck between my lips, but I don't think she minded. She was less pleasant about the story Ms. Shelly had fed her about how I'd refused to use the toilet, earning me another lecture on how lazy I was acting and another early bedtime - I was just glad Ms. Shelly seemed to have decided against getting me in trouble for calling her a bitch, for which I was grateful.

The next morning was similar to the one before, though without the surprise of an overly-wet diaper. The diaper was still there, of course, and the catheter made sure it was good and soaked, but after a day of being unable to control myself, nothing about it was shocking. I gagged my way through another breakfast, then let myself be taken back upstairs to be gotten ready for yet another day at nursery school.

That morning, after powdering and oiling my smooth crotch, the nanny flipped me over onto my stomach. I hadn't been expecting it, but I wasn't about to ask what was going on. Other than saying good morning and answering her questions, I hadn't said anything, and everything seemed to be going much smoother than the last couple days, probably for just that reason. I could hear something going on behind me, something that didn't sound too encouraging, though I chalked that up to paranoia. Before I could get up the courage to see for sure, my nanny was spreading my legs apart gently. Then she began to shove a heavily greased something up my bottom.

I gave a little cry of surprise and began to squirm, shocked and unhappy about what I was feeling, but she just kept pushing it in until she was satisfied, before turning me back over and taping me into my diaper. My face was still flushed when I walked into Ms. Shelly's class. I didn't have the guts to ask the nanny about it, but I was sure Ms. Shelly's little story had earned me this punishment, that I had been given a butt plug to ensure I didn't do anything like that again. Ms. Shelly might even have suggested it - I probably would have, after having to change one poopy diaper.

Strangely enough, as humiliating and invasive as it was, it gave me a little confidence. It wouldn't be comfortable, sure - it already wasn't, and I was positive that would only get worse as my need to move my bowels increased - but it would make sure I didn't have a messy diaper in front of the rest of the class. I would have preferred just getting to use the toilet, of course, but I wasn't going to complain, at least not yet. In fact, pathetic as it was, I almost considered thanking my nanny for it when she came to pick me up. After all, filling my pants in front of just Ms. Shelly was bad enough. Doing it in front of a bunch of toddlers would be absolutely mortifying. It was bad enough I was constantly peeing myself around them. If I did that, too, I had serious doubts about whether I would be able to go back to my job once this all cleared up.

It would be bad enough anyway, since I'd just vanished, as far as anyone knew, and I couldn't tell them the truth about what happened. But even if they didn't know, I would, and I had no doubt the memory would haunt me for a long time. If I were to take that last little step, however, and have a messy accident in the middle of class, well, I just wasn't sure if I could take myself seriously in any position of authority again, knowing I'd done that as a theoretically fully functioning adult. And if I didn't believe in myself, why would anyone who worked for me? So, as much as it made me squirm when I sat, and waddle a little more when I walked, and as unfamiliar its constant presence was, I was slightly grateful for it.

It also helped that Carla had an accident that morning. She was waiting in line to go to the bathroom, while I sat boredly at my table, and I saw her burst into tears. A few seconds later, I saw a pair of wet spots start to run down the insides of her pants. While I knew it wasn't very nice of me, I couldn't help but smile as I saw that. Sure, I was in diapers, but I wasn't the only baby in the class now - and at least I didn't make puddles when I had my accidents.

So, I was feeling pretty good that morning, pleased with myself. I knew I was never going to be someone the kids looked up to, other than physically, and I didn't think they'd forget that I was the one in diapers, but at least having Carla put back into Pull-Ups for the day had to help my social standing some. She didn't seem happy that I'd been assigned to sit at her table, either, probably thinking that Ms. Shelly was putting the babies together, and not liking to be classified as that any more than me.

We were given an assignment to color pictures of leaves so they matched colors of leaves we'd seen. My tummy was starting to feel pretty full by then, but I knew there wasn't much I could do about it, so I tried to ignore it. Then, as I leaned forward to get a crayon from across the table, I smelled it.

I knew it was wrong of me, and certainly not mature, but I was still sure Carla had locked me out of the bathroom my first day there, and this was probably the closest I'd be able to come to getting back at her. I sniffed the air dramatically, sitting up so I'd be more visible to Ms. Shelly, and, yes, the other kids. When none of them noticed, or at least bothered to comment, I spoke up with a, "Ms. Shelly, I..."

"What did we talk about, Holly?" Ms. Shelly asked, shutting me down temporarily as I blushed and raised my hand. "Very good. What is it, Holly?"

"Ms. Shelly," I said with a grin, "I'm pretty sure one of these babies had an accident." I gave Carla a pointed look as I said 'babies', again knowing I might be going a bit far, especially as I saw the girl squirm, but not caring. For once, I wasn't going to be the infant of the class. She might even land herself back in diapers for this! Heck, if it wasn't for her, I might not have gotten this catheter put in me. I might be back in Pull-Ups myself by now! "I can't concentrate on my picture with the smell," I added, giving the knife one final twist. It was sad that my nemesis, such as she was, was a toddler, or that it had taken something like this for me to get back at her, but I didn't know when, or if, I'd have another chance to show her not to mess with me, so I was going to take it.

As Ms. Shelly got up from her desk, along with Ms. Marian, and started making their rounds of the room, slowly winding their way around the tables, I smiled to myself, satisfied that my revenge was in motion. I sank back down in my seat, feeling smug...

Then my cheeks began to flush and my nose wrinkled as my bottom was greeted by a mushy squish. It was impossible, wasn't it? It couldn't be what I thought it was! Embarrassed and confused, my thumb made its way back to my mouth as I fidgeted, confirming that, yes, I had somehow filled my pants, not only despite the butt plug, but without noticing. I looked back up at the teachers, circling closer and closer, as I sank down in my seat, praying that, against all odds, one of the other kids was in the same predicament as me, that they'd find them first and leave me alone a little longer. I wouldn't want to stay in this diaper for too long, but at least long enough that they wouldn't know I'd complained about myself.

But they never stopped, never bent down to so much as ask one of the other kids if they'd had an accident, and as they got closer, I gulped, squirming to try to hide and find a comfortable position at the same time. My palms began to sweat at Ms. Shelly drew closer and closer to my table, making it hard to keep ahold of my crayons as I stared intently down at my picture, only daring to watch her from the corner of my eye now that she was almost on me. And then, by some miracle, she passed me up. I let out a sigh of relief, hoping she was just going to write this off as me being overly dramatic or something.

"Oh, Holly," she said, turning back around to face me with a knowing grin. I paled, turning toward her, thumb in mouth. "Did you have an accident?"

I briefly considered saying no, but what good would it really do me? She probably wouldn't believe me, and would check me, turning me around to face the class as I stared down at my feet, feeling her tug out the back of my diaper and discover my lie, which she would likely then report to my nanny. Reluctantly, I nodded, standing up and taking her hand as she led me through the class, knowing they all knew what I had done, and that it was my fault. I'd done this to myself.

Except that, as I discovered after my second surprise messy diaper of the day (which I wisely stayed quiet about), wasn't entirely true. I didn't know what was going on - I could quite clearly feel that the plug was still in, just as I could feel the load in my pants that I was sure couldn't be there. I wasn't sure if I was going crazy, or having a dream, or what.

For her part, Ms. Shelly didn't seem at all surprised as she praised me for making her another present, pressing my butt plug a little further inside as she cleaned me up. That was when I began to put two and two together. The nanny had been upset with me for wetting myself, supposedly on purpose, so she'd given me a catheter. She'd been upset that I pooped my pants, again, supposedly on purpose, and now I was doing that without control, either. I was sure she was behind it, though I wasn't able to confirm that until she removed it that night and I saw that it was hollow.

The fact that it was helped along artificially did little to make me feel better about having been rendered incontinent. I now not only wore diapers, I needed them, fully and completely. I spent my days at nursery school, and most nights I was in bed before 6 pm. I was bathed, fed, dressed... I was, for all intents and purposes, a toddler.

There was nothing I could do about it but accept it, try to be the best little girl I could. I stayed quiet at nursery school, unless I was called on, I played as nicely as I could with the other kids, though Carla wasn't very happy with me for calling her a baby and trying to blame my accident on her, I did everything I could to make sure Ms. Shelly had only good things to tell my nanny when she came to pick me up.

And it worked. "You've really turned your behavior around this week," my nanny told me that Friday morning, as she got me up. "I'm very proud of you, Holly. Some people are just suited for different ages, and this one seems to be yours." I smiled at the praise, though I hated the idea of what she was actually saying. "So, I have a nice surprise for you after school today."

I could barely concentrate all that day. I doubted the surprise would be anything great, such as getting my old life back, but, at that point, it hardly mattered - Holly's parents should be coming home in the next few days, judging from what my nanny had told Holly about how long I'd be away from rehearsal, and once they did, I was free anyway - I was just hoping for a small victory. Maybe a permanent removal of the catheter, or a reprieve from the butt plug. Even a later bedtime would have been nice.

I knew right away none of those would be it. The car was heading the complete opposite direction from Holly's house. I thought that maybe we were going out to eat instead, or perhaps to a movie. I hadn't had a chance to do the latter for a while, so it might be nice, even if I'd probably be forced into picking a kid's movie. Going out to eat would be a good change of pace, too, saving me from the oatmeal and baby food I'd been stuck with for so much of the past week.

But that wasn't it, either. My heart began to pound as she continued to drive and things began to look more and more familiar to me as they whizzed by outside my window. I hoped I was wrong, that there was something else beyond there, some other surprise, anything but where I knew, with a sinking feeling in my gut, she was taking me. I began to suck harder on my thumb, closing my eyes, as if that would make this all go away.

I told myself it felt like a much longer ride than it should before I felt her slow down, like she was entering a parking lot. "Oh, this is a good spot!" she exclaimed. I listened to her turn the car off, then chuckle. "What are you doing, silly? Are you that sleepy? You can go to bed once we get home, but I think you'll want to check this out first. Come on, open your eyes."

Reluctantly, I did as I was told. And there, right in front of me, entrance decked out with a huge banner declaring its grand opening tonight, was my mall.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Laura & Holly - Chapter 23

Other than the smaller size and brighter colors, the cafeteria at the nursery school was surprisingly normal, though there were quite a few more grown-ups roaming around, making sure there was no choking going on, than you'd find at a regular school. Even the food I saw in front of the kids was childish, sure, but not to the extent that it could have been - chicken nuggets, rice, broccoli, apple slices. While I wouldn't choose that for a meal, I wouldn't say no to it, either.

Unfortunately, that was out of my hands. Rather than taking me to collect my food, as I'd expected her to, Ms. Shelly led me to the table where the rest of the class was sitting, to two open seats near the head. I blushed as the kids looked up at me, sure they could tell the struggle going on inside of me, and what I'd almost just done. Ms. Shelly didn't seem to notice, just set my diaper bag on the table and began to rummage through it.

The first thing she took out was a pink, plastic bib, which I found tied around my neck before I could even try to stop it, or tell her I didn't need it. Nobody else at our table had a bib, of course, a fact I was sure they were all aware of. Then, to make things even worse, she set a baby bottle in front of me. "Drink this while I get your lunch ready," she instructed. I looked over at her, pleadingly, but I could find no mercy in her gaze. The apple juice in the bottle was a bit warm, and had the same strange texture to it as the other juice I'd been drinking lately. It was enough to make me wonder if there was just something wrong with my tongue. It would be hard to judge, since I'd mostly been eating oatmeal lately, and that tasted gritty and gross to me anyway.

And then, as I reluctantly sucked on the bottle, I watched in horror as she pulled out several large jars of baby food, setting them in front of me in a row, first strained pea, then prune, finally, I guess as a dessert, banana. I groaned from behind the nipple, hoping beyond hope that it was a joke.

"You have to eat," she told me as she heard my wordless protest. "Don't you like these?" I knew it was probably a trap, but I shook my head anyway. "If you want, I can mix them all together and you'll be done with them quicker."

I nearly gagged at just the thought of that, then shook my head vehemently. Not only would probably be incredibly nasty, it wouldn't really go down any faster, since there would be the same amount.

"Just thought I'd offer," she shrugged, opening up the jar of strained peas and taking out a pink spoon. "Now put down your bottle, sweetie, so I can feed you."

"I can feed myself," I informed her, moving my bottle only slightly away from my mouth. That wasn't about to happen, however, and she let me know by snatching the bottle away and replacing it with a heaping spoonful of green mush. Almost instinctively when I felt the texture and tasted it, I wanted it out, sending some of it gushing out the sides of my mouth, down my face and onto my bib, making me look, I realized, even more like an infant. Ms. Shelly scooped it up off my face and shoveled it back in, then followed it up with another over-full serving. There was no escape from it, and just when I finally cleared out the first jar, it was on to the prune. It tasted, if  it were even possible, worse than the pea, meaning even more of it wound up decorating my bib, though more than enough got inside me. The banana wasn't bad, but by then I was feel quite full. Ms. Shelly would hear none of that, barely giving me time to say it in between bites, and then, when she was finally done, she stuck my bottle into my mouth, holding it there until I put my hands around it.

My stomach grumbled, clearly having trouble finding room for all this new food when there was so much already in me, and I was squirming and fighting to keep that from coming out. I looked around the table as I drank the bottle, surprised to see how slowly the other kids were eating. We might be there a while, I realized, and I wasn't sure if I'd have that long. Was it going to happen here, as I sucked at a bottle, still wearing a bib smeared with gooey, sticky baby food, the same kind that had just been shoveled into my mouth? Even as I thought it, I felt a cramp, one that made me bite the nipple of the bottle from the pain of it. I pressed my bottom into the seat of the chair, struggling to keep my own prophecy from coming true.

"Is there anything wrong, Holly?" Ms. Shelly asked me sweetly, and I just glared at her while I stopped myself from giving her a show. "Are you still hungry? I can see if I can find anything else for you to eat!"

"No," I groaned, shaking my head. I couldn't imagine eating another bite without exploding.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to go hungry, sweetie." She reached over, patting my full tummy, then starting to rub it again. I tried to swat her hand away desperately, knowing what she was trying and also fully aware that I was in no shape to resist it again. "You're so fussy!" she teased me, thankfully stopping with one final pat. "Do you need a change?" Before I could answer, she was up and walking to her assistant, asking in a stage whisper loud enough for me and anyone else to hear, "Will you be all right here? I think Holly needs a diaper change and a little extra nap time. Besides, she needs cleaning up - she's a messy eater."

"Go ahead," Ms. Marian told her, and just a few seconds later, I was being marched back through the lunch room, still waddling in my even wetter diaper, stomach in even more pain, now in a food-covered bib, while my face was in similar shape. Ms. Shelly took me back to the classroom, and from there back to the bathroom, where she took off my bib and rinsed it off, then roughly washed my face. When she was satisfied, she lifted me up onto the changing table, putting me on the side so my feet dangled off the edge, letting her pull off my boots, putting them next to the diaper bag. She removed my vest as well, folding it and putting it on top of the boots.

She pushed me onto my back and strapped me down so she could dig in the diaper bag for a fresh diaper, and a thick soaker pad that she applied to the center, making sure I could see her doing it. "I don't want a heavy wetter like you leaking during naptime," she informed me. "Because, as you know, once you're down for your nap, you're not to get up again until I tell you it's over. Maybe we should use two. What do you think? Oh, what do you know? We'll do two." She smiled as she saw me squirm as she put on a second soaker, then untaped my current diaper.

This was it, I knew. This time, I knew she wasn't going to let me out of this diaper until I'd pooped it, even if it meant extending my naptime for the rest of the day, not that she was going to need to. Once it was taped on, there was no turning back. "Please!" I squeaked pitifully. She stopped for a moment, looking at me curiously. "Please, let me use the potty!"

"A big baby like you doesn't deserve the potty," she informed me. "Look at how wet you made this diaper!"

"Please!" I tried again.

To my surprise, she unstrapped me, lifting me down to the floor, and then removing my jumper. I started for the toilet, but she stopped me. "Beg," she ordered. I looked up at her in confusion, and she repeated it. "Beg, if you really want to use it. Show me."

I pressed my palms together and stared up at her with pleading eyes. "Please, please let me." She shook her head, and I carefully got down on my knees. "Please, I just want to use the potty."

"Go on."

"Please, let me use the potty," I said. "Please don't make me use my diaper, please."

"Keep going," she instructed. "Why are you asking me? Oh, and, Laura? Don't you dare have an accident on this floor before you're done, young lady."

"B-But..." I flushed, before giving up. I had no way of controlling when, or if, I went, and the whole morning had been proof of that, as I'd tried everything I could think of to stop myself from wetting my diapers, and failed every time. I was just going to have to hurry, and, I was sure, that was Ms. Shelly's whole plan. "I need you to let me because I'm just a baby, and you're a grown-up, and you're in charge of me," I fumbled, not quite sure what she wanted me to say. "Please, I..." I squirmed, feeling a trickle of urine run between my legs. I clamped them even further closed in desperation. "I'm completely in your control, and you can do whatever you want with me. So I'm just asking, please, this once, just let me use the potty!"

"You're right," she beamed, more than happy to confirm all my suspicions. "You are in my control. And you know what I want? I want to see you toddle up to me in a full diaper and beg me for a change. So your little bottom is going right into your nice, thick diaper until you can do that." She picked me up, then wrinkled her nose as she looked down. "I also think you're going to clean that up once I have you in your diaper, so you don't make an even bigger mess."

Stepping around my little puddle, she put me back on the changing table, not bothering with the straps this time before cleaning me up, starting with my crotch so she could shove the extra-thick diaper beneath it, then moving down my legs before going back up to sprinkle a liberal amount of baby powder on me before taping me in. The soakers gave the diaper, which I was starting to get used to, unfortunately, just enough extra bulk for the whole thing to feel strange between my legs again.

"Sit up," she ordered, turning me so my legs dangled over the front of the table once I'd done so. Unsurprisingly, it was to give me more pills and water before lifting me down and handing me a damp paper towel. "Now clean up your mess."

Feeling quite silly, I carefully knelt down in front of the spot I'd been doing the same thing in just a minute or two before, though this time I wouldn't have been able to squeeze my legs together if I wanted to. Not that it would matter - with all this padding between them, there was no way I'd be leaking on the floor again anytime soon. My stomach rumbled ominously beneath my pink shirt, making me sink my bottom down lower onto the tiled floor, pressing the diaper up against me.

"No, no," she shook her head. "Get on your hands and knees and do it."

The cramps in my tummy were still going, and getting stronger, leaving me unable to do much more than sit there, squirming, not able to even beg her, again, for mercy she likely wasn't going to show. She didn't like that, of course. "On your hands and knees, Laura, or I'll make you crawl the rest of the day!"

I opened my mouth, though I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but all that came out was a quiet grunt. I was sure I could weather this, if she just gave me another few seconds. It wouldn't be much, but it would buy me a little more time, and...


It happened almost automatically, my fear at what she'd do to me, or have my nanny do to me, overriding my sense in a moment of panic. I bent forward, sliding my hands out in front of me, trying to make her see I'd do what she wanted just as soon as I could. But I slid just a little too far, felt my bottom lift off the floor. I immediately panicked, trying to drop back down, but it was already too late. As soon as they had an empty space to fill, my bowels were more than willing to do so. I gasped as I felt the mess starting to push out, beyond my control or ability to stop it.

My cheeks turned red from the strain and the humiliation as my body took over, lifting my butt rather than lowering it, forcing my face down until it was against the floor, staring right out at my previous accident as I tried to complete my current one. I felt it hit the back of my diaper, then bulge it out before spreading across the seat, a slow, unstoppable journey that left me short of breath, only to be followed up by another, softer surge of soft mush, ballooning the seat of my pants out even further.

"There's a good girl," Ms. Shelly praised me, snapping another picture before patting my bulging diaper, making me flush and squirm away weakly, every movement reminding me of the inescapable nature of what I'd just done. "Come on," she said after a moment or two, "clean up your little mess so we can get your nap started."

I pouted, staring up at her unhappily. "D-Don't I get a change?"

She shook her head. "I just changed you, sweetie. You should have just gone before that. Now you're going to have to wait." I felt tears forming at the corners of my eyes as I wiggled about in my full pants, but she either didn't notice or didn't care. "On your hands and knees," she reminded me.

I lifted myself on shaky arms, wiping at the wet spot with paper towel after paper towel, until Ms. Shelly stopped handing them to me, making me assume she was satisfied. She grabbed my jumper, but when I started to stand so she could put it on me, she stopped me. "I think you should crawl out," she said. "Then I'll get you dressed again once you're out there."

I knew it wasn't a suggestion, that I had no choice, so I sighed and stayed on my hands and knees, waiting for her to open the bathroom door so I could crawl out, glad to see the other students hadn't somehow snuck back into the room without making a racket. My diaper sagged behind me, swaying slightly with its heavy load, while I crawled beside Ms. Shelly, feeling utterly and completely infantilized.

"I think I'll have you sleep up near my desk, so your stinky pants don't disturb the other kids too much," she told me. "If it gets too bad, maybe I'll see if there's an empty crib somewhere for you." I didn't bother to answer, not sure I even had the strength, mentally or physically. I watched her get me a mat, then lifted my arms for her to slide the jumper over me, glad for that bit of camouflage for my diapers, even if I knew it was probably pointless. Carefully, I laid down on my side, then quickly rolled over onto my stomach, trying to keep from squishing the mess against myself too much.

"Sleep tight," Ms. Shelly said, tugging at the hem of my jumper, then spreading a blanket over me.

I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get to sleep at all, with the state of my diaper, but I hoped I could follow her directions, so I could think, at least for a little while, that I was imagining all this.